Lists (Humor)

[DarkPhoenix]

Things You Will Never Hear Dunstan Say:
1. "I couldn't... she's too young."
2. "Miss, you're showing too much cleavage."
3. "She's too young to be wearing a bikini."
4. "I'm giving up on younger women."
5. "All these damn passive women... I want a strong independent woman!"
6. "Ophelia kicks ass."
7. "Angela, please leave the room. I'm about to be topless."
8. "I was going to buy you some fancy jewelry, but then I realized, you'd probably prefer for me to stay home and cuddle with you."
9. "Who cares about sex? I love cuddling."
10. "I'm gay."


Things You Will Never Hear Ophelia Say:
1. "I think I will wear pink today."
2. "I want to be a cheerleader!"
3. "AJ, I want you."
4. "HIM sucks."
5. "I'm totally goth! Gothgothgothgoth! Don't call me 'alternative.'"
6. "Down with feminism!"
7. "I hate you, Emily. You're such a nerd, and by hanging out with you, I look way less badass."
8. "I want to be just like Tiffani and Angela."
9. "I can't stand Cy. She's prettier than I am, and she's not even biologically female."
10. "Mae, you are a bitch with some serious issues who seriously needs therapy. We are no longer friends. Ever."

More to come.

[DarkPhoenix]

Reasons Why Charise Should Be Slapped:
1. She picked Dunstan over S.
2. She ignored S when he tried telling her how he felt-- on more than one occasion.
3. Because she thought mean stuff about Valo.
4. For being so damn wishy-washy ("S and I are just friends... OMG, Tacita might be getting it on with S... now I'm angry!")
5. Because she's too naive for her own good
6. Because she keeps bringing Dunstan to the high school... where he has lots of eye candy to admire.
7. Because she's totally oblivious to the fact that Dunstan is a total scumbag.
8. Because she was kinda bitchy when the CNC-ers were working on the fundraiser.
9. Because she's too clueless to realize that Dunstan is fooling around with Angela practically in front of her.
10. Just because.


Reasons Why You Shouldn't Date Dunstan:
1. Once you turn about 18-20, he'll leave you for a younger model.
2. You don't know where he's been.
3. Or who he's been with.
4. He'll probably end up in jail.
5. He's a scumbag.
6. He's "mysteriously" busy in the evenings.
7. He'll spend a little too much time with your younger female relatives while visiting.
8. You'll inevitably be sharing him with at least one other female at the same time.
9. He's proof that money doesn't buy class.
10. Because you know he'll probably call you the wrong name during "the deed." And it will probably be the name of your younger friend/classmate/little sister/younger cousin/younger neighbor/etc.

[DarkPhoenix]

Dunstan's "Hit List"--The Ladies He's Been Involved With (in no particular order):

1. Charise Marlow
2. Jessica DeSidiro (Valo)
3. Angela Paxton
4. Ophelia Foley
5. Iris Dandridge/Jade Dubroca

[DarkPhoenix]

Reasons Why Everyone Should Love Cy:

1. She's more of a man than Dunstan will ever be, and more of a woman than he'll ever get!
2. She's one of the nicest people in the story.
3. Ophelia likes her.
4. She has pretty cool clothes.
5. She's a loyal friend, even when her friends aren't always kind to her.
6. She has all the benefits of being part of Charise's family, without actually being a relative.
7. Even Valo likes her.
8. Even Mae liked her enough to open up about her feelings for Ophelia.
9. She's kind of mysterious.
10. She's one of the most unique characters in the story.

[DarkPhoenix]

Dunstan's To Do List:
1. Wake up
2. Take a shower
3. Watch the cute high school senior next door walk to school
4. Eat breakfast
5. Watch TV
6. Call Charise
7. Call Angela
8. Harass Valo
9. Invite Angela Over
10. Hide Angela When Charise Comes Over Unexpectedly
11. Invite Charise To Come Over Later
12. Fool Around With Angela
13. Take a Shower
14. Eat Lunch
15. Fool Around with Charise
16. Watch the cute high school senior next door come home
17. Shave
18. Paint
19. Practice music
20. Watch TV
21. Flip a Coin to Decide Whether to Ask Angela or Charise to Sleep Over
22. Fool Around
23. Eat Dinner
24. Shower
25. Sleep

[DarkPhoenix]

Things That Will Never Happen, Ever:
1. Ophelia dresses "preppy."
2. Angela cuts her hair.
3. Dunstan admits he's a disgusting, horrible excuse for a person.
4. Emily decides to drop out of school and flip burgers for the rest of her life.
5. AJ decides to become a tap dancer.
6. Tiffani decides to work at Hot Topic.
7. Ms. Gibson celebrates her birthday by getting plastered on Bourbon Street.
8. Charise decides to become a nun.

[DarkPhoenix]

Ms. Gibson's New Years Resolutions:
1. I will refrain from both calling the high school a "teenage wasteland" and from also singing and humming the associated song while at said place of education.
2. I will remember that erasers are not for throwing at the television, no matter how distasteful the show is.
3. I will refrain from offering cigarettes to former students who have graduated. If they want cigarettes, they can use their own darn money.
4. I will refrain from mentally calling certain people's significant others insulting names, even if they are well-deserved.
5. I will remind myself every day that the future of our nation is most likely not doomed. Most likely.
6. I will find a good excuse to write up that irritating Mae Rivers, just because she keeps breaking rules and getting away with it.
7. I will try to actually SMILE once in a while, rather than being all serious and grumpy and "doom and gloom."
8. I will not keep my New Year's resolutions. Again.

[DarkPhoenix]

For my adolescent psychology class, we can get bonus points by coming up with a question that could possibly be used on the class tests. I made up this question, using the characters in the story:

Lia and Tiffany are friends. Tiffany finds out that AJ, the boy she likes, is interested in Lia. Tiffany decides to spread a rumor about Lia, claiming that Lia got drunk at a party and made out with AJ's best friend. As a result, Lia's classmates think she's "easy," and AJ loses interest in Lia. Which of the following has occurred in this scenario?

A) Reactive aggression

B) Relational aggression

C) Hostile attributional bias

D) Negative identity

"B" is the correct response. Relational aggression is aggression intended to harm other adolescents through deliberate manipulation of their social standing and relationships.

"A" is incorrect because reactive aggression is aggressive behavior that is unplanned and impulsive, which was not demonstrated in the scenario described, as the behavior was planned ("decides to").

"C" is incorrect because hostile attributional bias is the tendency to interpret ambiguous interactions with others as deliberately hostile, and in the scenario described, Tiffany's actions were unambiguously hostile.

"D" is incorrect because negative identity is the selection of an identity that is obviously undesireable in the eyes of significant others and the broader community, and in the scenario described, the identity was not chosen by the person who was viewed negatively.

Information came from the textbook, pages 188, 189, 191, 287

[DarkPhoenix]

And as a follow-up, that question was actually used on the test! YAY!

[DarkPhoenix]

Hmmm... sounds like something S would say... (This is from the anime "Utena," courtesy of ohtori.nu):

Tatsuya: Well, I heard the rumor. That you can have a consultation here when you're in trouble. There was a girl I had been watching for a long time. She was a princess to me alone. But, she left me to see another man. I'm sure she is being deceived. Oh, and she was such an innocent girl... I'm sure he'll do all sorts of bad things to her, like... or... or even... But it's okay. No matter how much of her purity she'll lose, she'll come back to me. Because of my love for her. Yes, 'cause in the end, love always wins. I would be able to make you happy. I would be able to give away anything for your sake. I would... I would... Why can't it be me?!